This pain will fade away

Assalamualaikum :]

Being so lazy to update lately. Ahaks :p

So here's the thing that I want to share.

"Fake smile on my face
Feeling so out of place
My lips tell a lie
Inside I just want to cry
I must get through the day
But oh, I hate feeling this way...

A locked door,
a rusty razor, a towel stained with red.
A folded note, a broken mirror,
and young girl lays there dead.
Their emotions tangle,
the room begins to swirl.
She was Mommy's perfect angel
and Daddy's little girl.

She finally let go of her fake smile
And the tears slowly roll down
Face as she whispers in the mirror.

It's just one of those days
Where I just want to disappear,
To get away from everything,
Because I hate my life here.

Everyone keeps asking me if I'm okay..
What the heck do they want me to say?
No.. I'm not okay. and then what? 
So I just smile and say I'm fine
Even though I'm really dying inside

I'm the girl. The one thats always lost. The one with the fake smile. The girl who seems to be SO strong but daily continues to BREAK. That girl who's always there and seems to have NO problems of her own. The one who holds back tears...until she's off the phone. That girl is in love.. with a boy that isn't the one she wants.

Force a smile, blink away the tears
I'm supposed to be strong
Supposed to have no fears
But im finding it hard not to frown
I'm such a strong person
Why am I breaking down

I know it seems like I'm this strong person who can get through anything,
but inside I'm fragile. I've had so many things thrown at me,
and each one has only made a crack.
What I'm afraid of is shattering

My dreams tell me secrets
My mind tells me lies
My heart screams for help
My eyes only cry

Sometimes i just feel like
Running away...
just to see who would follow
just to see who really cares
or if anyone cares at all..

I'm going to smile
And make u think im happy
I'm going to laugh..
So u don't see me cry..
And even if it kills me..
I'm going to smile.

Words never hurt me
Change never kills me
Love never breaks me
Fear never shakes me
My hopes never fade away
I never need to break away
My tears are never here to stay
I'm always happy
I never lie
Yeah.. [ once upon a time ]

This isn't

A perfect world

You smile
When all you wanna do is cry
You act like you’re okay
When you are really falling apart..
But you move on

Because there is nothing else to do ..
Even though its slowly
Killing you

The girl who seemed unbreakable is finally starting to break
The one who seemed so strong its crumbling apart
The one who always laughs it off is constantly crying
The girl who would never give up, finally quit trying

If I could just wash away the pain, all the memories and the shame I would scrub until there was no more stain, and watch the dirty water go down the drain.

So I say thank you for the scars
And the guilt and the pain
Every tear I've never cried
Has sealed your fate
I will not be broken
I am the one
One can only feel desolate for so long
Until one starts to change
Into something the mirror doesn't recognize
I metamorphasize

Just live and breathe
And try not to 'die' again.

When the shadows beam
Misery remains
I won't leave this time.

Strip away vanity
Just as you comsume me
Broken smile, starless sky
Save it all, say goodbye

You're out in left field
And lacking interest
You fight the boredom
But it makes no difference
Your mental health, kid
That's what's in question
Keep acting obscure
We'll keep them guessing

You wake to suffer through the day
Trade a dream for the pay
Well here's the fact, I hope it sticks
You're just alive out of habit
The thing is
I'm not worth the sorrow
And if you come and
Meet me tomorrow
I will hold you down
Fold you in
Deep, deep, deep
In the fiction we live."

P/s: One day, this pain will make sense to you.
Source: Google