When You Say ...

 When you say I'm beautiful. I say "Yeah right" But what I'm really saying is "Do you really think so?" 

When you say good job. I say "Thanks" But what I'm really saying is "I love that you notice."

When you say we'll be together forever. I say "I hope so" But what I'm really saying is "I hope forever never ends." 

When you say I love you. I say "I love you too" but what I'm really saying is "Never stop saying that." 

When you say that I don't care. I say "Yes, I do" but what I'm really saying is "I care for you more than you'll ever know."
When you say that you start getting close with other girl. I say "Do you like her? Go get her. I don't care at all." But what I'm really saying is "Why do you like that girl? Am I not good enough for you?"
But, lately
When I asked "Do you love me?" And you say that you love everyone. I say "Enough, you already find ur match. That girl is just nice with you" But what I'm really saying is "Ok, thank you. I know, I no longer exist to you."
When you say that  you're sorry, I just don't have any idea to answer that question. Because this pain never really goes away. In this case, it makes me wanna hold a grudge against you.
SORRY DEAR.

Just look forward and hope there still have a SUNSHINE who brighten your life.

XOXO,

Bella.

Losing it

All we ever did was move around
I was always the new kid
never the cool kid

All i ever wanted to do
Was to fall in love
Just to be in love

But my heart was racing
My mind was screaming
"You've got your whole life to do these things"
But my legs were shaking
My hands were searching
For him in the backseat of my car

I just lost it
and i can't believe it

I knew i was only 16
But i thought i loved him
And it'd last forever

Only if i knew
That he wasn't true
How could he do this to me?

My heart was racing
My mind was screaming
"You've got your whole life to do these things"
But my legs were shaking
My hands were searching
For him in the backseat of my car

I just lost it
and i can't believe it .

Top 8 Friends Survey

1 -  Friend 1 Tya
2 -  Friend 2 Bieha
3 -  Friend 3 Najwa
4 -  Friend 4 Dian
5 -  Friend 5 Intan Syazwani
6 -  Friend 6  Jamal
7 -  Friend 7 Intan Zahurin
8 -  Friend 8 Hafiz
9 - How did you meet 6? SMK Puncak Alam, class 3 Amanah 2009
10 - Why are you friends with 3? Cuz we're meant to be friends lah
11 - Is 7 in a relationship? Nope, she's single
12 - Have you kissed 1? No
13 - Have you hugged 4? Pernah kot
14 - Have you done anything sexual with 6? Kaw gylaa?!
15 - Would 1 and 8 make a good couple? Maybe. But i don't want them to be together la, cuz tya love his bf ;)
16 - How long have you know 2? Ermm, 4 years :)
17 - Would you ever kiss 7? Hah?! Haha
18 - Whats a good memory with 5? Too many i guess
19 - Ever hugged 8? No
20 - Do you love 4? Yes! I love her
21 - Is 5 nice? Very nice
22 - How did you meet 3? Errmm, SMK Puteri Seremban, Class 1 Zeta
23 - Who makes you laugh? All of them, yes :)
24 - Who makes you smile? All of them, yes :)
25 - When was the last time you saw 4? Yesterday at school, Hari Keusahawanan
26 - Would 3 and 6 make a cute couple? Hmm, maybe. HAHAHA
27 - Does 8 love you? What the heck. He loves me as a friend la kan --"
28 - Do you see 3 a lot? No, miss her a lot ;(
29 - Describe 4 in 3 words? Kind, Sweet, Funny
30 - What would you buy 1 for their birthday? T-shirt
31 - Have you traveled anywhere with 5? Not yet
32 - Do you have fun with 7? Yeahh
33 - Is 2 a cool person? Not really
34 - Who is the loudest? Hmmm, all of them i gues :P
35 - Do any of them get on your nerves sometimes? Yes
36 - Do you know when 6's birthday is? Yeahh, his birthday's same with my mom
37 - What do you really think of 3? She's smart and adorable
38 - Best memory with 4? Too many kott
39 - Does 1 even know you? Yes ofcourse
40 - Is 5 happy? Yes
41 - Does 7 live close? Yes, dekat fasa 3 jugak
42 - Do you have any classes with 2? Yup, 1 Zeta, SMK Puteri, Seremban
43 - Have you and 3 ever hooked up? No
44 - Are you and 8 close? Yes, dulu. Now, no more T_T
45 - Do you wanna kiss 4? HAHAHA
46 - Is 6 a good person? Yes, he's a good boy
47 - Does 2 own a car? NO
48 - How did you choose your Top 8? Dunno. He appeared in my head. So I put his name Conclusion here, I love my friendss ;)

Please

Sadly, no one can help me. Probably. Learn physics makes me yawn every single minute. Yup, physic booorrrriiiiinnnggggg T_T.  I just can't seem to like that subject. It's about velocity, speed, SI Unit and bla bla bla. Erghhh. 


I just feel soooo lazy. I can't seem to focus on studying AT ALL.  I even try going to the library or locking myself in room with study materials but that does not help eitherrr ;'(  I don't know what's wrong with me. Or maybeee, I have to force myself to study. Please Nabilah, no more "Ouh, I'll do it later." Wake uppp! You're sixteen now! Please be responsible. You got work, so you should done it! Think SPM 2011. Focus. 


Maybe I'm too much thinking about _______. Maybe that's the reason. Please please, I'll more fired up if 'you' advise me. 
Some says:-


"Being successful means doing what you know has to be done, whether you feel like it or not."

*sigh*

When words failed,

When words failed, music speaks:-

1. "Why do I keep running from the truth. All I ever think about is YOU. You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized. And I just got to know." -Crush by David Archuleta-


2. "You'll be the one That I'll love forever more. I'll be here holding you high above it all. But don't let me fall." -Don't Let Me Fall by Lenka-


3. "Oh, I just can't get enough. How much do I need to fill me up? It feels so good it must be love. It's everything that I've been dreaming of. I give up, I give in, I let go, let's begin. 'Cuz no matter what I do, Oh (oh), my heart is filled with you." -You Got Me by Colbie Caillat-

4. "I wish that I could tell you. How I really feel. I wish you could believe my love for you 

is real. All I know is, I ain't much without you.  You really are the better part of me, yes.

" -Wish That I Could Tell You by Babyface-

5. "You know you love me, I know you care. Just shout whenever, and I'll be there. You want my love, You want my heart. And we will never ever ever be apart. Are we an item? Girl Quit playing. Were just friends, What are you saying." -Baby by Justin Bieber-


6. "I will never let you fall. I'll stand up for you forever. I'll be there for you through it all. Even if saving you sends me to heaven. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay." -Your Guardian Angel by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus-


7. "& if you don't mind, Can you tell me all your hopes and fears, And everything that you believe in. Would you make a difference in the world. I'd love for you to take me to a deeper conversation. Only you can make me." -Deeper Conversation by Yuna-


8. "I want nobody nobody but YOU, I want nobody nobody but YOU. How can I be with another, I don't want any other. I want nobody nobody nobody nobody." -Nobody by Wonder Girls-


9. "But it's ok, you can just call me friend. Even though I mind I'll just take the backseat again. In the end I'm here. Cuz in the end just sit and stare. The season change not making way. As I'm just waiting waiting waiting for you." -Fatal Flaw by South Jordan-


10. "Everyday I see lots of strangers passing by me. And this makes me realised that life would be boring without you." -Bella-

11. "I can't never really tell you why I've been missing you alot. And I just have to take another look of your photo in my handphone."  -Bella-

Is it enough? Are you satisfied? The sort of feeling is complicated. It's scientific to described, rite? I don't know and I'm not used to express about such love things. Hurmm.
 

"People don't know what they got and appreciate till its gone." 


Sincerely me,
Bella